The Battle With Cancer

I just got word today that a friend of mine lost his dad to cancer. (Jerry, my heart breaks for you because I know the loving bond you had with your dad.) Of course, this hits me like a ton of bricks with my mom and friend Jacqui both going through breast cancer. Cancer is FRIGHTENING and although it has only been recently that I have had to deal with it personally, I hate it and wish the word wasn't in our vocabulary. Yesterday I was at Royal Victoria Hospital with my mom going through her second round of chemo. We received good news earlier that day that her $12,000.00 medication would be covered... thank you to whomever stamped her paper with 'APPROVED'. But then we got word that her hemoglobin count is extremely low and she would require a blood transfusion and now weekly blood tests. And there is the step back. I have to admit my mom has always been an incredibly strong woman, but her God-given strength through this whole ordeal has been admirable and inspirational. Every person who has been diagnosed with cancer should be honored for their battle, whether they have won or lost. Honor someone today.

Seniors Residence - Team Players

I know it has been a while since my last blog, but time flies when you are inundated with"to do's" from every angle. My father was finally discharged from the hospital, looking worse than ever, but each test lead to the same conclusion - nothing else could be done for him at this time. Returning him to his new home, Clock Tower Inn Seniors Residence, lifted the weights off my shoulders. This is a place my father truly calls 'home'. The gracious and caring staff; the great food, the convenient location and the comradary has resurrected this once somber man.
I can honestly say the staff has proven their capabilities and compassion over and over again. They never miss a step and genuinly care about the well being of the residents.
As the saying goes, ' the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach', and the chefs at Clock Tower are wonderful cooks. I have never seen an older adult put on so much weight in such little time as my father has. But he eats plenty and enjoys the meals. What more can one say??
Being on Main Street definitely has its benefits for a blind man. It only takes minutes to stroll to Ferry Lake and any quaint stores one would need at his age. But most importantly, his new found friends bring joy and laughter to his days in darkness.
This seniors residence has removed the stressors involved with caring for an aging parent and provides me precious time for my children and a career I have a passion for. Thank You Clock Tower.
For a side note: Please pray for the people in Haiti and if called to help, in any way, please do.

Do Your Homework

Over the past few months I have had numerous discussions with specialists, surgeons, nurses, administrators, etc. as a result of both parents having medical treatment in hospitals.
As I reflect back on the savvy and professional medical team, I now realize the overwhelming, abundance of information delivered both verbally and book form were just pieces of instructions to a complicated cure for my mom's cancer. It is a classis case of a senior relying on, or having the expectation that professionals will give educated, proper and sound advise. Each medical professional has their area of specialty and as a metaphor, if you will, although each player was playing the same game for the same team, if the captain (being my mom) cannot put the pieces together after each player (the medical team) plays their position perfectly, it makes for an interesting game.
What I have learned over the years in a profession that helps seniors and their families move forward, is we have to take ownership of our life and what happens from one day to the next. So don't be lulled into the sense that you are expected to just understand, do your own homework and ask questions. It is, after all, your life.

Hospitals

I have to admit I am getting more and more sceptical each day of our hospitals. I just got off the phone with my dad's nurse and she tells me his IV was removed and they were unable to reinsert it. They even called in two intravenous nurses, both failed. Now he has to wait for further testing on his heart until Monday. Which again baffles me. After a conversation I had with my dad the other day, he has refused heart surgery. I completely understand that decision. He is an 80 year old blind man with diabetes, heart problems and the list goes on... so why the testing??? He has already said 'no' to surgery. More money wasted. Just prescribe another medication to add to his shoe box of pills.

I had my hair cut last night and my hair dresser is in a situation with the same hospital. This time they have a complaint in with an ER nurse who horribly treated her 80 year old father. Degraded and embarassed him to a point where he is afraid and very anxious to go home.

But the craziest story involves my mom and her mastectomy in October. She pre-admitted herself the day before surgery only to admit herself once again the following day (another waste of time). More tests had to be conducted and she ended up in a hallway and forgotten for over 1 hour, which of course made her late for her surgery time. On her way to the operating room, she and the surgeon had a conversation regarding her surgery. The surgeon requested to speak with us and was unable to, even though we had been given a pager by the hospital when we registered. The volunteers refused to use it because mom wasn't ready to be discharged and that was the only time they were allowed to use it. WHAT!!!! That is crazy. If a surgeon wants to speak with me, PAGE ME! Seems simple to me. When we finally saw my mom, the nurse couldn't even tell us if my mom had a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Of course, that was the last straw and my sister blew her top. I was there to applaud her.

At the end of the day, you get what you pay for. So sit back, laugh instead of cry, and hope noone dies.

Family Matters

I must share with you how my holidays included both a merry Christmas and not so happy new year. It all started in September when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and was informed that after her surgery, chemo and radiation would begin in the new year. If that wasn't enough, my father was admitted into the hospital following a heart attack just before the new year. With both parents in and out of two different hospitals, I could not imagine how a senior would cope without family close by.

As most of you already know, it is very difficult to speculate the side effects one faces with chemo. I'm a planner and would rather put days aside to be with my mom should she require my help. But she is an independent, positive thinker with a strong faith in God and would prefer to believe she can do it on her own with God providing strength. She is also of a generation that has great difficulty asking for help, yet has no problem letting you know her troubles and waits to see if you will offer support. I have to admit that makes me feel less important when situations unfold in such a manner. So here I am sitting in a field of cancer patients and I pray survivors, waiting for treatment and my mom's response to it. (And yes, she is sitting beside me reading everything I type which of course brings great discussions following every sentence. I love you mom.)

And then there is my dad. Lying in a hospital bed in another town, blind and in isolation, and waiting for another batch of test results to come back from the labs. Of course, choosing to be with my mom instead of my father is a no-brainer since she was the one who raised me from the age of 6. But I do feel empathy for my father who truly has no one but me.

Running back and forth to the hospital for him has already included picking up his clothes from home because he was transported by ambulance in pyjamas, getting edible food from home because he is not fond of hospital food, picking up an electric shaver because he can't shave with a regular shaver being on blood thinners, and the latest, bringing in a radio for background noise. No answer yet as to when he will be discharged, but my guess would be in a week.

So here is where one needs to sit back and say, "If it were me...?" and fill in the blanks. Answering that question may appear impossible for some seniors who are alone or estranged by their family. This may be the time to adopt a family or have a heart to heart conversation with friends or neighbors. There will be a time and a place where you will require help and this is where I say 'family matters'. Those seniors who have family available to help are privileged and truly blessed.