Family Matters

I must share with you how my holidays included both a merry Christmas and not so happy new year. It all started in September when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and was informed that after her surgery, chemo and radiation would begin in the new year. If that wasn't enough, my father was admitted into the hospital following a heart attack just before the new year. With both parents in and out of two different hospitals, I could not imagine how a senior would cope without family close by.

As most of you already know, it is very difficult to speculate the side effects one faces with chemo. I'm a planner and would rather put days aside to be with my mom should she require my help. But she is an independent, positive thinker with a strong faith in God and would prefer to believe she can do it on her own with God providing strength. She is also of a generation that has great difficulty asking for help, yet has no problem letting you know her troubles and waits to see if you will offer support. I have to admit that makes me feel less important when situations unfold in such a manner. So here I am sitting in a field of cancer patients and I pray survivors, waiting for treatment and my mom's response to it. (And yes, she is sitting beside me reading everything I type which of course brings great discussions following every sentence. I love you mom.)

And then there is my dad. Lying in a hospital bed in another town, blind and in isolation, and waiting for another batch of test results to come back from the labs. Of course, choosing to be with my mom instead of my father is a no-brainer since she was the one who raised me from the age of 6. But I do feel empathy for my father who truly has no one but me.

Running back and forth to the hospital for him has already included picking up his clothes from home because he was transported by ambulance in pyjamas, getting edible food from home because he is not fond of hospital food, picking up an electric shaver because he can't shave with a regular shaver being on blood thinners, and the latest, bringing in a radio for background noise. No answer yet as to when he will be discharged, but my guess would be in a week.

So here is where one needs to sit back and say, "If it were me...?" and fill in the blanks. Answering that question may appear impossible for some seniors who are alone or estranged by their family. This may be the time to adopt a family or have a heart to heart conversation with friends or neighbors. There will be a time and a place where you will require help and this is where I say 'family matters'. Those seniors who have family available to help are privileged and truly blessed.